Ooooph....

Under something very heavy right now and can't reach the keyboard....hopefully back soon.

Monday, Monday....

Okay....guess weekends aren't conducive to writing blog entries! Family managers apparently don't conduct 'office hours' on the weekend. So noted! That makes sense I guess. Therefore I shouldn't be surprised to find that Monday feels and acts a lot like Monday for anyone who works? You have to figure out how to get back on your mental bike, regain your balance, build up some speed and travel down the road of the week. Perhaps it's like teachers experience every Monday doing at least a brief review of.... 'this is how this works, accept your fate and comply!' Oooo! That took an unexpected turn on the internal monitor...I'm sure that's not the teacher I should be channeling at ALL! Constantly reframing, retooling and trying to have someone get a handle on the internal audio/visual equipment!!

By the way, speaking of 'school', I realize that I'm sort of butting my head up against a wall by trying to completely get this family manager thing up off the ground during summer vacation? I think I'm going to reframe that in to doing research to prepare for a more productive launch to the new school year! Routines and policy establishment in the midst of summer vacation is pretty suicidal it might seem. However, school and the return to routines is looming ahead with every subsequent shopping trip we make to cover sports supplies, school supplies, clothing needs, etc.! I must be careful not to develop a IGAS syndrome: 'I've Got All... *fill in appropriate time increment here...morning, afternoon, day, week, month, summer or other appropriate season* and then find myself sitting a month on the other side of that torturous 'first day of school' picture that we subject our sons to, under the crush of football season saying...WHAT HAPPENED to my plan? Did anyone see that speeding truck?

Ahhh, a bright, shiny, new beginning...a new school year... full of optimism, hope and promise of all the things you've always wanted to fix about your schedule and teach your child about responsibility...just like an immaculate Big Chief Tablet and a fat, newly sharpened pencil!

This could be the year!! Ooops!! Reframer on call...this WILL be the year!

Potholes Along The Highway...

Ahh yes!! I continue to read my Kathy Peel books and that's all lovely, well and good and I can imagine my fine little Terrell Family Corporation beginning to hum along with that newly established Family Manager in place. The little blurb has come out in the business section of the newspaper...the Welcome Wagon has dropped by...she's being invited to join various civic and business leadership organizations...Yeah, yeah, yeah...I've got a great little idyllic virtual world going on here. It's one of the beauties of reading a book, really...so nice to just plunk yourself in a controlled setting as a cast member.
Then static and fuzziness start messing up my reception on my virtual monitor.

DRAT! It's that darned REAL LIFE thing always NIGGLING in the background, messing up my nifty little fantasy world. *sigh* It comes in the form of trying to make plans with the other members of your corporation who bring their own needs and expectations to the bargaining table. You know those other members of the corporation are very handily vague in the book/fantasy world! This makes them infinitely more malleable to manage there.

Trying to make plans brings up the necessity of gathering facts from other corporation members who are 'out in the field' so to speak?? Sometimes we don't even know where the field is or what they are doing in it?? This unleashes a whole cycle of reactions, feelings and related syndromes that make fantasy planning/living nigh impossible. This causes this family manager to throw her hands on either side of her head and say WHY did I think it would be a great idea to go into personnel?? It's a brewing situation that the Family Manager and her co-chair are definitely going to have to handle.

***You know...THAT'S the REAL tricky part of building a family corporation...the process by which you add to your company?? *AHEM* Let us just say that the process does NOT always promote the most careful analysis from the risk-taking task force!! That having been vented...please know that I would not trade ANY of my corporation members for anything and I would not undo the uhhh, well, RESULT of that addition process...yikes! this is getting to be tricky tip-toeing!! I'm just saying...most corporations add members with a much more careful screening process? ANYWAY...that's enough of that rabbit trail! Back to my originally scheduled message...

So...actually the project lesson that keeps coming up for today...and YES, I got YET ANOTHER one of those surreal cryptic messages from the universe which would indicate that I maybe didn't get the whole message earlier in the week...is that I need to face *four letter word containing s and t* .....we'll go with 'STUF'...since that one is much easier on the psyche and eyes as well as remaining more professional and user friendly. FACE STUF...it's one thing that most decidedly adults have to do...and the vast majority of the time it's not pleasant, fun or pretty...but it needs to be done.

That's definitely one of the goals of this project: learning how to FACE STUF...the art of pulling up one's big girl panties and dealing with it! It's not nearly as much fun as playing in my virtual world but I'm hoping it will reap more tangible benefits.

Now I'm on the road...where do I go??

Okay! I feel like I'm just getting settled in my seat belt, am adjusting my mirrors, balancing my requisite travel mug full of coffee, I've messed with the radio and successfully made it past that eternal stoplight onto the highway.

Where do I go from here?? Knowing me, I probably need to stop and fill the gas tank before we head out of town but that's beside the point. One might say also that I'd forgotten something and needed to turn around and go back, but it's probably a little early and a little too close to home to have already REALIZED that yet!

I know ultimately I'm (most likely) going to end up at my 50th birthday. I'm just trying to figure out what to program in to the GPS, affectionately known as 'Carmin', so I make sure I see everything I hope to see on the way!

One thing I'm currently working on is another attempt at a paradigm shift regarding my...my.....what?? job? chosen field? career? role? purpose? calling?? I guess that's all a part of what I'm trying to figure out! I've started reading a Kathy Peel book (there's an entire library of them) entitled 'Desperate Households' which lays out a business like approach for establishment of a Family Manager. There are many aspects that really appeal to me for a variety of reasons. First of all, it makes a lot of sense. Second of all, she clearly 'gets it' and has already invented a pretty sharp looking wheel. I think one of the most important things to me though...is that it seems to acknowledge and demand more VALUE. If I can prove to myself that it has more value than I've tended to issue it in my self categorization and evaluation over the years, then that can only help in a myriad of ways if I can successfully shift (this word can get downright ugly in a hurry as a typo!!!) this paradigm in my noggin. Maybe, just maybe, I can take this work...and myself a little more seriously!? Isn't that what grown-ups do??

Sooo, I'll be mulling and pondering my 'mission statement'. Heck, that sounds like the kind of thing I might need a couple of. One for this project and one for this kooky corporation I'm running over here. SERIOUSLY..who would HIRE you for such a position? That's like going back to coach and asking if anyone can fly a 747!! Okay..there goes that tape recorder again! Maybe we can try BUSTING that thing once and for all before my 50th? That's definitely going into the 'goal' bin!! Till then I'm just going to REFRAME & REPROGRAM...

“You achieve much once you stop
telling yourself you can't do things.”
— Elizabeth Kadetsky

There!! That's better already...

Metaphor Framed By My Kitchen Window

Yesterday I unexpectedly began this blog journey through an interesting labyrinth of first subtle, gentle nudges and then right when I was ready to duck out the door in avoidance? A much larger, very surreal one that quickly slammed the door on my exit! Later in the day, I came to realize that another subtle lesson was presenting itself right before my eyes.

I have a bougainvillea plant in a hanging basket right in front of my kitchen window. For the past three years, a pair of mourning doves has decided that hanging basket is the perfect place for their stark – near cardboard box-esque type nest. I seriously thought the first year that either they were very young or very old because that was the lamest nest I’d ever SEEN! Not to mention they seemed quite OVER-SIZED for such a small area…but they were quite determined and now it’s become a summer ritual. I have learned much about mourning doves: how they nest, how they incubate, how they parent. I have watched many sets (always two eggs) come and go out of that hanging basket. I have also wrestled with the interesting timing challenge of balancing watering and care for the plant vs. disruption of the dove family as well.

This is my first year for using the bougainvillea which is so much more tolerant than my former fuchsia of the shortfall of water that occurs while waiting for the babies to ‘be ready’ to go. The first set had been out of the nest in short order so I really thought I had it all figured out this summer! Go me!

Then came the second set. I watered the basket really well one day while they blinked at me, feathered and growing like little weeds, but too little to do anything about being terrified by my giant ness. I thought I was good to go! But the pair lingered and the plant began to look a bit parched. I waited, fretted and urged them mentally and verbally as I went in and out the kitchen door.

Finally, one nestling was perched on the edge of the basket Sunday afternoon. An encouraging sign! Water was in the near future for my plant…or so I thought. Monday morning found one nestling gone and one scared frantic looking nestling left. Ohhh boy... I have a remedial dove baby. The plant continued to droop by the minute. The pull of the dilemma deepened. If I water the plant, I’ll force the baby to go before he’s ready. If I let Remedial have time, the plant continues to suffer. I wait…and watch…will, encourage, cajole…mentally and verbally!
‘You can do it! You really can! I know it’s scary but you’ll be FINE!’ ‘PLEASE HURRY UP! Your house is going to die!’ The sibling very kindly and thoughtfully flies back in the nest Monday evening so Remedial doesn’t have to sleep alone. While that’s very sweet, I’m now back to a full house!

Yesterday morning, sib was gone again though. As I was coming back in to the house later, I noticed that a dove parent and the sib are perched side by side on the wire in front of the house, staring at the basket. I imagine their conversation: ‘what’s the matter with him’? ‘He’s afraid’. ‘what can we do’? ‘I don’t know…he’ll figure it out. Sometimes it just takes longer.’

We all know some nestlings (some intimately) that are afraid to launch and who have family members who are trying to figure out what’s the best path to encourage or help them. The illustration of the message was relatively clear. If they are allowed to stay indefinitely, their environment suffers around them. Though it’s horribly painful to make that push, even though as a result they find they can fly, I guess sometimes it requires doing the tough thing.

By late afternoon, I had come to the decision that Remedial was going to have to get pushed. However, we had a ballgame to attend so he was granted a temporary restraining order from the watering can. Apparently while we were at the ballgame, Remedial got his own internal push from an unknown source…because when we returned, he was gone!

We both took a deep breath and ended up launching into our futures yesterday…Remedial and I.

Tentatively Sticking My Toe in the Water...

Okay, I took the first step! I'm not exactly sure how I ended up in this place today. I had no idea I was headed here when I left this morning, but undeniably all road signs seemed to indicate that this was my ultimate destination. I knew I wanted to do the project, I just didn't realize that I was going to be called on to do it with this level of visibility and accountability!

A few well-placed encouraging friends (some of which also happen to be related as well...pretty nifty trick in today's world!) acting as guides, I find myself timidly speaking into a cyber microphone with my fingers...trying not to allow myself to run and hide....are you SURE I can/should do this?? Isn't it the height of arrogance to imagine someone is remotely interested in what I have to say? People will laugh at me! Oh geez....who is RUNNING that inner tape recorder?! Turn that off!

Okay...better make that A Journey WELL OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE!! Hopefully I will arrive at my 50th birthday with a more organized home, a healthier body, a more nurtured soul, a deeper sense of purpose and a working balance between them all.